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Maybe at the beginning of a relationship it may be selfish, that is each partner is more concerned about what he or she is getting from the relationship. but as the relationship lasts is oftens becomes truly selfless. I have been married many years and long ago my wife and I have truly cared more about the other's feelings and well being then. But it did take time, years to become that way. If you analyse whether love and I assume what we are talking about here is the notion of romantic love then the answer to that is that it is selfish, at least as far as men are concerned. Women are a different matter they are a caring, nurturing gender and this is not a matter of culture or environment it is a fact which applies not just to humans but to most other species as well. The primary imperative of the female is to mate and have children. She will feel this romantic love towards her target male, but only until he can provide her with what she really wants namely a child or several children then he merely becomes a material provider. But the most interesting topic here is what the man gets out of all this. As far as children are concerned unlike her they are his least desirable objective indeed they are a trap from which he is going to find it very difficult if not impossible to extricate himself from. What he ultimately wants from this association with the female or rather what certain entities of his unconscious wants. For unlike her he is motivated in this matter not by his conscious ego. But by the two primary objectives of his sexuality namely Oedipus and Narcissus coupled with the projected anima and the id. These four entities dwell in the realm of the unconscious and so are unavailable to the conscious perception and they are the real controllers of man's sexuality and his relationship with women. So both men and women are selfish in their own ways. wwNov 10 2009 1:31pm Add a comment: Vote Results |
